Adapted for the Internet from:

Why God Doesn't Exist

    Summary

    The mathematical physicists who usurped the strings of power long ago never realized that the word object
    plays such a pivotal role in Physics. Not a single textbook of Physics begins with a definition of the word
    object, and you will find no published manuscripts analyzing this elusive word in the journals of Physics.
    The mathematicians have delegated the boring and unrewarding task of defining the word object to
    philosophers. The mathematical physicists aren’t even aware that a heated, intergenerational debate has
    been raging in Philosophy on the subject of objecthood for the last 3000 years. [1] [2] The mathematicians
    have not been invited to the meeting, they are not even aware that there is a meeting, and probably wouldn’t
    come to the meeting if they were invited because they have no idea how important this issue is. Physicists
    rely on philosophers to tell them what an object is. The way they look at it, putting common words such as
    object, location, motion, exist in dictionaries is beneath their dignity. That's a job for linguists, English
    majors, philosophers, or perhaps librarians.

    Consequently, the naïve ‘physicist’ coming out of college is blind-sided to the fact that there is a fatal flaw in
    his field. The strategic words on which Theoretical Physics rests are defined by people who have no stake
    in its outcome. The mathematicians are oblivious to the fact that they will have to use these words to
    communicate ideas. When Hawking says that space-time or a black hole is an object, he inadvertently
    invokes a definition devised by others. Surely he is not saying that space-time is a physical body because
    this notion is easily debunked. So what does Hawking mean by object in the alternative? Thus, Hawking
    has allowed the English majors to put words in his mouth and make him look like a fool. This alone should
    encourage Hawking and his pals to come to the meeting next time.

    The philosophers have worked in vain for centuries to define this formidable word. What follows is a list of
    the outstanding proposals kicked around in Philosophy circles for the word object. A brief analysis of these
    notions and definitions shows where they fail and why they have to be rejected. We discover that in
    Science, who, why, where, when, how, and how much do not qualify as objects. Only a what may serve as
    an object! For the purposes of Science, only that which has shape qualifies as a 'noun.' This is the only way
    we can use the word object consistently in a dissertation.
    .
After 3000 years, the
idiots of Philosophy
still cannot tell you
what an object is!

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    Last modified 02/15/08


        Copyright © by Nila Gaede 2008
No, Bill! I'm sorry to disappoint you. I am not a physical
object. I am just an abstract concept. However, I will
still try to grant you your three material wishes. One
beautiful girl, a keg of beer, and a pot of gold, right?
Aaawwh, humbug! Why is it that I
see fairy godmothers only during
my hangovers!